I’ve been “blogging” for over 10 years now. Crazy crazy. And in that time, I’ve probably given myself around a year off. I blogged through secondary school, sixth form, university and now into my adult years. Definitely still not accepting adulthood quite yet though. My life, from age 14, has all been put online somewhere. The rebellious 14-year-old having her first taste of alcohol, the smitten 16-year-old when I met my now fiancé, the confused 18-year-old with not a clue what to do with her life, the 21-year-old graduate that’s probably never going to use her degree, the 24-year-old learning how to use a washing machine in her first house. It’s there, somewhere.
Blogging has been a massive part of my life, and even when I’m not posting consistently, behind the scenes I’m spending my days planning ideas and taking photos for future content. I’ve even got a list on my phone of over 300 post ideas I want to write. I can never imagine blogging not being part of my life. Even when it becomes obsolete, I’ll still be here rambling away on my little place of the Internet. I’m sure of it.
2017 has been manic. You have no idea how relaxed I feel sitting down to write. I haven’t been able to do this in what seems like forever. But before I veer off in a tangent – in January Sam and I bought our first house together. A major renovation project because quite honestly, that’s all we could afford. For three months, we spent every spare second working on the house. Every. single. one. Whilst still working full time. It was hard, but we did it, and we’re now living in the house, finally. Although it’s still a building site and there’s still so so so much to do.
Sam and I work for ourselves and work has been crazy. I’m actually writing a post on ‘What They Don’t Tell You About Working For Yourself’ because I must get told I’m lucky almost daily. I am. But I don’t think people quite understand how much of a hard graft it is keeping a business running smoothly, especially as we now have a house to pay for. It’s stressful. It’s hard. But yes, it’s rewarding.
On top of a crazy crazy home life and a crazy crazy work life. My laptop decided to finally give up. And then the Internet. I’m still not used to this laptop, and I think I must be deleting more words than I’m writing as I don’t know where the keys are yet. I am absolutely useless with technology.
I’ve had a serious case of the “blogging blues”. I’ve been comparing myself to others, my writing, my photography, myself as a person. I’ve wanted to get back in to regularly posting for so long but every post I write just doesn’t seem good enough. I hate every photo I take. My posts are too short, too long, too chatty. There’s not enough photos, too many photos. I thought after 10 years of blogging I’d be over this by now?
I lost the love for blogging, I was writing because I felt I needed to, I was accepting products and collaborations for the sake of it. I was forcing myself to write when the creativity didn’t flow. I forgot why I started. I didn’t start for the freebies, the views, the followers. When I started, Facebook didn’t even exist, yet alone Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and all the other social medias that dishearten me when comparing myself to others. I wrote for me. Because I enjoyed writing.
I think I’ve been spending so much time worrying about what other people will like, what will make me look good, what will make me stand out, how to gain followers, how to improve my writing style, my photos, my content, that I’d forgotten what’s important. I’d forgotten why I started.
Over the last couple of months, I’ve taken time for me. To spend time with the people I love. To do the things I enjoy. To sort my life out. To start exercising instead of complaining about the stone I’ve put on. To have my hair done instead of moaning that I hate it. And most importantly, write. I was starting to hate the person I’d turned in to. I’d turned into one of those people moaning about life, whilst sitting on their arse and doing nothing whatsoever about it. That isn’t me.
800 words later I think I’ve managed to say what I wanted to say in this post. I’ve rambled a lot when all I really wanted to say is that I’m back. And as cliché as it sounds – I am going to be the best version of myself I can possibly be. I’ve declined collaborations that I either don’t have time for, or I don’t feel I’ll 100% love. And I’m going to really start focusing on the things I do love. Baking every sugar filled treat I can possibly think of. My Manicure Mondays. Exploring. Skincare. Pamper sessions. Because you can really tell the difference between the posts I love writing, and the ones I’ve struggled to find the words for. I’m going to take my blog back to something I enjoy spending my evenings doing. And I hope you start enjoying reading it again too.
I’m going to leave it there. I’ve already written way more than I intended and I’ll end up writing another 800 words if I’m not careful.
Have you ever hit a blogging slump like this? What did you do to get back on track?
Until next time,